Incomplete

He could sense a bliss again. Someone beautiful was sitting with him, right by his side. Was she really so beautiful, or was it the alcohol?

"Why do you do it?" he asked grinning.

"Do what?"

"You know... moving from one relationship to another?"

"For the beginning part of it" She said.

They both laughed together.

"Still? " He asked after a while

She remained silent and he was mesmerized; mesmerized by her innocence. He wanted to touch her soft hands to understand the meaning of beauty.

Her voice interrupted his thoughts. "See! I love beauty. I love to touch beauty...to feel it. Beauty is measured not by love, attraction or lust. It has nothing to do with the purity or naivety but in the curiosity it arises in the beholder. Why people are so in love with Mona Lisa? 'coz they are curious about it. Why it was made? Who she was? And all. And when you are curious, as it is our innate nature, our quest transcends imagination and all logical possibilities and that we deem as love. And... right now I am curious about you boy" She smiled.

Journey: Rain drop

"Mumma! When I grow up I want to be a rain drop" said little Ramanujan looking outside the window at rain.
"OK. But you need to study hard for that." her mother replied casually while searching for TV remote. Few days back Ramanujan had said to his father he want to be a bus conductor because it is a coolest job to travel all day in the bus and to play with loads of coins.
"Study hard then" his father had replied then.
"Mom, in which college I have to enroll in to become a rain drop?" Ramanujan asked still looking outside.
"Why do you want to be a rain drop, Ramanujan?" His mother asked still clueless about the remote.
"Arent they beautiful mom? Falling from such height for random strangers and for what but just to reincarnate again in to a drop and continue the cycle and make millions happy for some time in this process." He said.
His mother stood still. Paused. One part amazed. One part concerned. One part happy.
"I think I put the tv remote in the fridge mom" he said and ran away outside as if he had found the purpose of his life.
"What? And where are you going now? I will beat you Ramanujan, come back" his mother shouted but the music of rain coherated with his heart beat as he ran towards playground soaked in rain.

Dilli se hoon, Jamie Lannister!

I have officially spent most of my nights staring at the sky from my bed. Delhi is altogether a different beast at night. Like some tamed dragon ready to fly you to hidden treasure. There is a strange uncertainty about her nights. You can never be sure if you will be able to find a single star in sky, let alone constellations.
मेरे शहर का चाँद शर्मिला है
रातों में बुर्का ओडे रखता है
She teases you some nights and deprives you of glimpse of celestial wonders. There is some love-hate relationship with her. All through out the day, I despise her. She makes me sweat, she makes me fight, she makes me sick, she makes me kiss hideous pollution. She makes me feel insignificant. She makes me feel lost. Bitch!

Bollywood flirts with her, authors romanticise her. They boast this city has seen very depth of both, hope and despair. Every act of crossing the road is is a miracle of existence.
In nights, lying lifeless in my bed looking our at vast infinity I fall in love with her. Everynight. Masochism at its best. What seems like a cage in day's light feels home in night's darkness. Stockholm syndrome.
It accepts everybody and from everywhere. Delhi reclaims both riches and poors. The bastards she scolds in day, she holds them in nights, close to her tattered chest. She listens to our fantasies, aspirations like a lover and pats us with eternal hope.
Like a mother, she brushes our hair and tells that I am special. In day light you question your identity in the gigantic urban sprawl of 16 millions but at night she makes you believe one day you will own her.

Lying in my bed every night, observing her façade of cruelty slipping by, I watch Delhi. Sometimes street dogs barks in protest that I am hallucinating, but like a timid kid I lift my arms hugging this beautiful beast and I exclaim "Bitch! You have pulled me back again". 

Kids, there is no quit in unrequited.

Unrequited love. When you continue love without reciprocation. Most of you must have fallen for that one. The guy who feels like your prince charming. That girl who is so cute that PETA will take offence if anything bad happens to her. That guy who is legend awesomnes made of. Whatever, if there is god even he can't make this person more better. Yep, that's a kinda love you are in. Creepy! *Pukes*
You meet this person and you don't know how to express yourself anymore. And what you do- through poetry or paintings. So much said through short verses. So much expressed in a few strokes of paint.
These are the days when you start pondering about those rhetoric philosophies-
 Is conventional beauty is everything? Are you blind to my inner beauty?
DEAR LORD, I HAVE SACRIFICED 12 ROSES HEAD. WHAT ELSE DO YOU WANT ME TO DO?
No seriously, do you know how much ferns & petals charge for a dozen roses?
But I am taller than his gf... How can he neglect this? What about genetic superiority?
I guess 26 missed calls delivered the message to her subtly.

And then reality hits you. Ouch! Ahh. Then comes the days when you lie in your bed and you don't know if you will be able to survive the day or not. You feel like slicing your wrist (dayem this shuffle for playing Ranjhana sound track now). But you are smart and you don't want poor knife to be called criminal all its life. You decide to live. For the future of knife, maybe.
Truth be told, that seldom I do, unfulfilled love is most romantic love. Largely because fulfilled love involves you buying nappy for kids and switching to colours TV when you want to watch ESPN. You, my friend is a brave soldier who chose difficult path. You are making this word a better place (How? Umm... We will come to it later). Seriously,I am proud of you, because you allowed yourself hope when others let them pulverised by despair. You tried. Don't give up. And if you feel you are losing, write some emo status on Facebook. I will personally 'Like' them all no matter how crappy they are. I feel you. 

Childhood and all that jazz

When I was a child (age wise) I never had a friend like Hobbes so it was not that epic but yes it was beautiful and now I am an adult and a bit of childhood has survived despite constant attempts of career to molest my inner child. And sometimes here and there this inner child in me comes out, I think he is claustrophobic or may be he is just annoying child who keep on prancing around and wont settle at one place. To be honest that seldom I am, it's a bit difficult to handle my inner child and that's exactly why I am looking for a hot young baby sitter for him (If interested, please contact). Coming to childhood days, I was a very stupid kid. I always wanted to be a bus conductor till class 5th, thinking it is a coolest job, you see, you travel all day in bus and get lots of coins to play with but then it was me. Young and foolish. I keep on revisiting my childhood not because they were so glorious or colorful but because there was some innocence that gone hung somewhere in the thread of time. When adulthood not only hit us but slaps on the face hard the first victim are our childhood dreams. We grow up, abandon our childhood dreams, start calling ourselves practical and live a mundane life. That's not how I thought I'ill live. Not that I wanted some 7 figure pay cheque but through out my simple life I wanted to be somebody and I am still not THAT somebody and not even close to being THAT somebody any time soon. I was just sitting and smiling on life while opportunities were passing by me, even begging me to drop a glance. But then it was me. Young and foolish. Today when I look back I wonder who drugged me, I swear somebody must have slipped some white powder in my food. Anyway, it's never too late to improve, quit or die. Or just write a blogpost  and carry on with your sorry life.

P.S: 22 years and still I dont know what THAT is. Maybe THAT is THIS. *cruel laugh* 

"Earthquake? We will sit on couch and wait"

I asked two 8 year old kids to write few lines on "What will you do during an earthquake" and I got brilliant answers. 

"First I will try to balance myself. After that I will be calm and sit at one place close my eyes and think about any another thing like some funny jokes or the thing like magic and all. Then I will take a long breath and open eyes after a little time so when I open my eyes I should not feel the earthquake."
~ Bhavya 

"If an earthquake will come, I will keep my all the things safe, so it cant be brocken or torn. I will sit on the sofa and hold it tightly. I will also say to my family to sit with me"~ Vedanshi

Once in a while we should encounter the unexpected  wisdom of children to keep the sanity in us alive between chaos and panic. 

The fault in your words

He wanted to look into those cute eyes. He wanted to touch those soft little hands. He had understood the meaning of true bliss when they kissed for the first time. Here, Sigh! here she was standing with him tonight. There was no moon in the sky, but here was she, holding the night sky with her innocence. She smiled while rubbing her eyes and arranging her curls wide as a heart, stopping his heart short for a while. 

"It's a beautiful sky tonight" She broke the spell.
"Thanks to you" he said.
"And why so?" She asked.
"Each time you lie to me your words penetrate my heart, escapes this world and get pinned in the sky. The bigger the lie, the brighter they twinkle. You saw that brightest star? the one close to moon?" he said pointing at the vast infinity in the sky.
"Yes" she said without any sign of dejection. 
"That's your 'I love you'' he was still looking somewhere in the sky. 
"No matter what you say, no matter how much you try to irritate me, it won't work tonight. I won't let you ruin this beautiful night." she smiled and hugged him gently. 

"I love you" she added and the star close to the moon twinkled a bit more brightly like it got a slimmer of a white light in it.

Nib is fist clenched in anger.

Forget for a minute all those freaking motivational quotes that tell you to control your freaking anger. Anger is the most powerful & purest emotion a man has. Understand it, unlesh it. Dont supress. Anger is something which prevent your inner silkworm's cocoon to become this freaking world's cloak. This freaking anger makes you butterfly. It unleashes you to fly. Amitabh's anger in Zanjeer and Deewar is what made him freaking awesome. Do you think he would have been any popular trying those freaking mushy roles? Do you think freaking Hulk would have been so freaking loved had he gone for anger management? NO.

We all want to be freaking more than what we are- which means we freaking hate ourselves the way we are. No wonder there's so much anger in us. Anger is precious emotion, dont freaking waste it too much on others, because this world is freaking cruel, they will always remember the words that you said in anger, and not those you said in freaking love. Stay away from those kind of freaking people by showing what you are, let them go if your self repel them. Anger is what keeps you human, that venting keeps your machinery cool. Let yourself heart be out of those freaking (rib)cages for a minute, don't restrain. Strip your soul off your freaking body for a minute. Destroy yourself for a minute. Let there be a flash of anger, let there be feeling of emptiness. Damage is done. Good. Now filter relationships. Now collect yourself. Now rebuild. Now go.

Happy New year and all that jazz.

It's not like that it's new year so your life will automatically get sorted out in few days. Stop convincing yourself, nothing will change, unless ofcourse you want some.

Like rain, a new year brings your life another chance. To fix, to amend, to stay, to walk away, to walk back, to rebel, to revel, to revise, to renew, to remember, to rescue, to repeat, to undo, to make up.

New year is a moment of reckoning... or maybe not. You can make it anything you want. Make it some constructive change. You can choose. You have a choice. Make it right one. 

Find small joys in life to be happy and culminate them into big. Push yourself to do better, each day. Dig deep, keep digging and it will take you through. YUSS!

Give yourself and your loved ones a bit more time. If when you wake up in the morning, the first thing you do is reach out and turn on your computer screen, or phone, or tablet, and see what others are saying. Do you really need to do that? Do you need to know what others have been doing, or are telling you, or sharing. Your first thought for the day has to be for yourself. To organize. To think. To Plan.
I know it's sounding like some motivational shit but then let it be one.
Do not wallow in sadness unnecessarily, rather move on to other things, like happiness. Learn that work is just that and life is more than just an intake of air. Always leave a blank page at the end of everything to allow for an exhale or a footnote. Watch at least a sunrise or two every month. Read some books. Watch some movies. Meet old friends. Write. use paper and pen. Sense a quiet in a crowded day. There’s love in every little nook of your heart, of you. Explore it. Expand it. Share it.

So this year, be awesomer, be smarter, be hotter, be happier, be richer.


P.S. - If top thing right now in your mind is what is 'Awesomer', perhaps not so much of the high road for you in 2014.