Its my first attempt to write a small story aroused by simple emotions. If there is anything sacred in writing, its the space between the writer and the reader, i hope you will respect that. The concept of storyline came longback when i was travelling to Jamia Millia Islamia University to give an exam, passing through IIT-D gate i felt a horror, pain and fear. Rest your head on the back of the seat and be the witnesst of the Journey of Ramanajuan.
********
The earth was blazing red and he was panting. Panting and sweatimg though he was sitting in an Air conditioned DTC bus.
"Ram-anuj-an is a los-er
Ram-anuj-an is a los-er"
the thought become a sentance & the sentance become a song, its bleaching tune drilling inside him. He was not angry over the taunting lyricr, perhaps the misery was in the gallow of emotions wrapping him around the neck, soon it will be known to his family and relativer and friends - "Ram-anuj-an is a los-er" he imagined this and more & he shuddered. The bus was crowded enough for anyone to notice the tears streaming down his cheeks. He wiped them away fiercely. He has made his decision no other thought, no other though he has made his decision.
'i am sorry amma for failing and not for the first time either' he thought, felt a pang of guilt moistured by fear & despair. He wondered how they will respond there are so many people in his life, so many little ants carrying the burdened of their breath paying small prices in their life. They might break down or weep or maybe not. His though ran to little salvation pills sleeping in his left pocket feeling relaxed & less anxious. Then she came to her mind... Leela! Leela was no different from other girls but she just wandered in his life. He opened his heart & she took the blood away, she gave small joys of her smile in exchange & he was sold. But then the scythe of broken words & disappointment splintered working inside. He decided to step down & rumble... Bus reached his stop, final stop of his journey, as he stepped out into the heat with the sun setting behind the naked road ashamed of atrocities of architecture, the only sound in this world was that of his heartbeats, smoke stifling the air, making him uneasy, giving a broader look at the ugliness of urban chaos he moved towards the crimson red walls of IIT-D.
Failing in IIT JEE even after taking a gap & then disponded response of Leela was too much of a burdened to live with. He walked down the lane, crossing two metro city oceans laden with cars, scooters, rickshaws, buses. Everything was looking different. Wide better and colourless. His legs felt heavy & dull and he felt a scroch inside him "18 year old teen commited sucide infront of IIT-D" his voice treamling, his heart thudering what perhaps could be the headline of the next day. Or may be not, if there is any other more sensationling news in the hands of editor. His death news was also not independent of mundane elements. Standing their with bent head he brought the pills from his left pocket - gleaming, arrogant, reckless tablets. God know how he got them, god know... His heart sank to his feat & his stomach felt hollow empty. A wave of despair came again and he popped them. All. At once. Ten minutes and A rush of disgust rose from his stomach, hot & sour like vomit. His heart beating wildly & he felt his head would burst... There at that moment like a child wanted to wrap someone walked in softly and held his hands. A child with screamy eye contact said "bhaiya, hadnot ate anything from morning" staring with hungery look, he shuffled his pocket like a blind man in the darkness & dropped the first note, then second then fourth then the last.
"may God give you lot of happiness and a long life" the child sprinkled his words before running away like a marathon winner, weaving his way expertly through traffic & pedestrians.
"HAPPINESS AND LONG LIFE...." Ramanujan bubbled with silent laughter. Every pain wandered away. The scream the laughter. falling weakly in carefully set trap of fate. Suddenly all the streets were littered it seemed with the pictuqe of that small begger, every honk and defeaning voices muttering same words of 'happiness and long life' that were the last things Ramanujan saw and heard befor he sank.
AND IF YOU FANCY A HAPPY ENDING
Returning home after 4 hours,
"where were you Rama? Why so late? Now get fresh, dinner is waiting" Ramanujan heard his mom, staring at him in traumic expression, he simply shrugged in response. He could barely speak. In his bed he miracoulsly felt asleep. It was difficult to believe, to believe such reckless freedom, to pass the forbidden path... May be the pills were fake... Or maybe the child...
********
The earth was blazing red and he was panting. Panting and sweatimg though he was sitting in an Air conditioned DTC bus.
"Ram-anuj-an is a los-er
Ram-anuj-an is a los-er"
the thought become a sentance & the sentance become a song, its bleaching tune drilling inside him. He was not angry over the taunting lyricr, perhaps the misery was in the gallow of emotions wrapping him around the neck, soon it will be known to his family and relativer and friends - "Ram-anuj-an is a los-er" he imagined this and more & he shuddered. The bus was crowded enough for anyone to notice the tears streaming down his cheeks. He wiped them away fiercely. He has made his decision no other thought, no other though he has made his decision.
'i am sorry amma for failing and not for the first time either' he thought, felt a pang of guilt moistured by fear & despair. He wondered how they will respond there are so many people in his life, so many little ants carrying the burdened of their breath paying small prices in their life. They might break down or weep or maybe not. His though ran to little salvation pills sleeping in his left pocket feeling relaxed & less anxious. Then she came to her mind... Leela! Leela was no different from other girls but she just wandered in his life. He opened his heart & she took the blood away, she gave small joys of her smile in exchange & he was sold. But then the scythe of broken words & disappointment splintered working inside. He decided to step down & rumble... Bus reached his stop, final stop of his journey, as he stepped out into the heat with the sun setting behind the naked road ashamed of atrocities of architecture, the only sound in this world was that of his heartbeats, smoke stifling the air, making him uneasy, giving a broader look at the ugliness of urban chaos he moved towards the crimson red walls of IIT-D.
Failing in IIT JEE even after taking a gap & then disponded response of Leela was too much of a burdened to live with. He walked down the lane, crossing two metro city oceans laden with cars, scooters, rickshaws, buses. Everything was looking different. Wide better and colourless. His legs felt heavy & dull and he felt a scroch inside him "18 year old teen commited sucide infront of IIT-D" his voice treamling, his heart thudering what perhaps could be the headline of the next day. Or may be not, if there is any other more sensationling news in the hands of editor. His death news was also not independent of mundane elements. Standing their with bent head he brought the pills from his left pocket - gleaming, arrogant, reckless tablets. God know how he got them, god know... His heart sank to his feat & his stomach felt hollow empty. A wave of despair came again and he popped them. All. At once. Ten minutes and A rush of disgust rose from his stomach, hot & sour like vomit. His heart beating wildly & he felt his head would burst... There at that moment like a child wanted to wrap someone walked in softly and held his hands. A child with screamy eye contact said "bhaiya, hadnot ate anything from morning" staring with hungery look, he shuffled his pocket like a blind man in the darkness & dropped the first note, then second then fourth then the last.
"may God give you lot of happiness and a long life" the child sprinkled his words before running away like a marathon winner, weaving his way expertly through traffic & pedestrians.
"HAPPINESS AND LONG LIFE...." Ramanujan bubbled with silent laughter. Every pain wandered away. The scream the laughter. falling weakly in carefully set trap of fate. Suddenly all the streets were littered it seemed with the pictuqe of that small begger, every honk and defeaning voices muttering same words of 'happiness and long life' that were the last things Ramanujan saw and heard befor he sank.
AND IF YOU FANCY A HAPPY ENDING
Returning home after 4 hours,
"where were you Rama? Why so late? Now get fresh, dinner is waiting" Ramanujan heard his mom, staring at him in traumic expression, he simply shrugged in response. He could barely speak. In his bed he miracoulsly felt asleep. It was difficult to believe, to believe such reckless freedom, to pass the forbidden path... May be the pills were fake... Or maybe the child...
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