It's 12 and I can see night slowly drowning into a cold black stillness. I am still and numb, feeling quiet and heavy, exhausted and sleepy and I don’t know what to write but I want to write. I want to write, inscribe, think, compose, create, carve, spill, engrave and then sleep. It's been long I wrote something, that little waterfall I have inside has not emptied from weeks, its not been spilled on paper. It should now. Some song is playing ahh! come on let me tell you a story. A story about an eternal, incurable dreamer and his life. Its sort of funny, you’re sitting and staring into space, trembling, talking to yourself and then you have this sudden urge to tell a story. Shh.. listen, also two reasons why you should read no further:
You never fell in love.
You don’t understand longing.
He stared at the sky again tonight, he uttered her name again today. It was a terrible day, it was suppose to be a happy day. "Impress society and live a lie for as long as we breathe and then be paranoid infront of someone you truely love, woah! Ramanujan, so amusing na?" he questioned his sanity as he looked at the moon, the stars, and the broken dreams. He met her today. And the moment he saw her his heart began to rain and now it is school of sobbing raining black clouds. She walked towards her like night, like waves his heart began to crumble and fall. Oh boy life is a funny story. 10 years have passed and he is still waiting for this woman. He never stopped loving her because he never stopped breathing. Time flies. Like a wicked sadistic but still, kind soul with a twinkle in its eyes, this time keeps on flying away. Teasing and making you want what you can never have. Too romantic, too adorable, too painful. Leela, oh boy, have you seen that woman? When she was walking in the breeze of a forlorn evening, it was hard not to flow in her. It felt like two people meeting each other, after an entire lifetime of not meeting each other. You cannot understand how he felt when he saw her coming towards her if you could, you would have called an ambulance. "She said something...but what? Gosh, stop staring it looks chessy, but what she said, I dont know but it felt like a flute playing sweetly on its own. Focus Ramanujan focus, dont stare, please dont". Both of them smiled when their eyes met. "Hold that look. Hold that smile." Her smile coated with shyness never ceases to enthrall him. The sky became a dark platonic poet and the clouds smirked with envy with water bleeding momentarily. They shook hand "Now don't take your hands off me. Let this be my most lasting moment of my life". His heart skipped a beat and a few more as he hold her soft and smooth hand. There is a certain joy in touching her and it's like, you just want to hug her for the rest of your life. Her body was littered with land mines that numbed his mind as he touch her. She was wearing specs, and he was amazed how her eyes crawled out of the picture just to touch him. Her freely flowing hairs were neatly tucked within a hair band like a storm captured in a bottle. "Why is she so beautiful? So beautiful that she touches that part of the heart which induces the tears... out of joy" They sat there. She ordered ice cream, he preferred coffee. They sat there, waiting for words to be spoken in the puff of silence. He wanted to speak, and he did, with that imperfect silence. Lips were sealed, silence was inhaled. "I want, I badly want a new word, or a new language of my own to hold you tight in my eyes and heart". He remained silent, he just wanted to see her. Look at her, lost in his own world with her forgetting the reality when she is with her. Half an hour passed and he kept on looking at her with a nervous smile. She smiled occasionally, and that smile made the wait of a decade worthwhile. With that smile she made everything still. Time included and he melt. like icecream left in the sun and a fool was born in him, a fool who said nothing and remained silent. There was so much to speak and all he spoke was silence, searching for the right thing to say when there is really no wrong thing to say. Sometimes you have to stand on the edge, close to the door, away from life. Keeping an eye on the opportunity. Observing it's every movement, it's every step because opportunity wont knock you have to open the door by intuition, its tricky.
He has nothing but words to tell her presence in his life and within him, is an anchor. He doesnt respect words, words are wind but there is an emotional flex. He remained silent knowing it's worst he could do. Silence may not be right thing he was doing but it was honest and transparent. Lips were stitched and he was choking out of all the love he had for her that he could not speak off. She was eating ice cream. She was looking beautiful, as if Ice cream was invented years ago just for her to eat. If women had seen her eating ice cream the way she was eating they would have gone angry, furious. They would have want their money back but it's ok, she could have paid them with the way she look. her quiet, patient digging spoon in ice cream and then softly eating, like a clam, is something he found delight in. There was a certain pleasure in watching her artistically eating that ice cream. It was difficult to comprehen if he was dumb there or waiting for his beating heart to steady itself as he sees her smiling once a while. They came out of the cafe and strolled around for a while. A walk away from chaos, but there was no walking away from that fool inside him. He imagined laughing, conversing, conscious of minds caressing walk and there they were silently roaming around. He knew he have screwed things, stamerring, doing all the wrong things. He began talking, talking about Universe, God, identity, Soul, Peace, Desire and stuff. He spoke all the wrong things. She was confused still she listen him speak. "One day perhaps we will joke about this silence and this nonsense I spoke finally, if there will be another day". There was something magical about her that is not a trick, but simply because it is not a trick he was apprehensive because nobody, nobody has this kind of power. "What kind of eyes she has? Black? brown? No... both? I dont know,I mistake your kind of color for that composite of every color this universe has ever produced, Oh! I dont want this moment to end". He dissertation on what's wrong with the world but could not utter what's in his heart. He made himself believe in multiverse, believing in some universe on lonely planet there are two people like him and her, walking around and there he could speak to her what he feel.
There maybe a second part in continuation of this story I might write. I dont know, I am sleepy for now.
You never fell in love.
You don’t understand longing.
He stared at the sky again tonight, he uttered her name again today. It was a terrible day, it was suppose to be a happy day. "Impress society and live a lie for as long as we breathe and then be paranoid infront of someone you truely love, woah! Ramanujan, so amusing na?" he questioned his sanity as he looked at the moon, the stars, and the broken dreams. He met her today. And the moment he saw her his heart began to rain and now it is school of sobbing raining black clouds. She walked towards her like night, like waves his heart began to crumble and fall. Oh boy life is a funny story. 10 years have passed and he is still waiting for this woman. He never stopped loving her because he never stopped breathing. Time flies. Like a wicked sadistic but still, kind soul with a twinkle in its eyes, this time keeps on flying away. Teasing and making you want what you can never have. Too romantic, too adorable, too painful. Leela, oh boy, have you seen that woman? When she was walking in the breeze of a forlorn evening, it was hard not to flow in her. It felt like two people meeting each other, after an entire lifetime of not meeting each other. You cannot understand how he felt when he saw her coming towards her if you could, you would have called an ambulance. "She said something...but what? Gosh, stop staring it looks chessy, but what she said, I dont know but it felt like a flute playing sweetly on its own. Focus Ramanujan focus, dont stare, please dont". Both of them smiled when their eyes met. "Hold that look. Hold that smile." Her smile coated with shyness never ceases to enthrall him. The sky became a dark platonic poet and the clouds smirked with envy with water bleeding momentarily. They shook hand "Now don't take your hands off me. Let this be my most lasting moment of my life". His heart skipped a beat and a few more as he hold her soft and smooth hand. There is a certain joy in touching her and it's like, you just want to hug her for the rest of your life. Her body was littered with land mines that numbed his mind as he touch her. She was wearing specs, and he was amazed how her eyes crawled out of the picture just to touch him. Her freely flowing hairs were neatly tucked within a hair band like a storm captured in a bottle. "Why is she so beautiful? So beautiful that she touches that part of the heart which induces the tears... out of joy" They sat there. She ordered ice cream, he preferred coffee. They sat there, waiting for words to be spoken in the puff of silence. He wanted to speak, and he did, with that imperfect silence. Lips were sealed, silence was inhaled. "I want, I badly want a new word, or a new language of my own to hold you tight in my eyes and heart". He remained silent, he just wanted to see her. Look at her, lost in his own world with her forgetting the reality when she is with her. Half an hour passed and he kept on looking at her with a nervous smile. She smiled occasionally, and that smile made the wait of a decade worthwhile. With that smile she made everything still. Time included and he melt. like icecream left in the sun and a fool was born in him, a fool who said nothing and remained silent. There was so much to speak and all he spoke was silence, searching for the right thing to say when there is really no wrong thing to say. Sometimes you have to stand on the edge, close to the door, away from life. Keeping an eye on the opportunity. Observing it's every movement, it's every step because opportunity wont knock you have to open the door by intuition, its tricky.
He has nothing but words to tell her presence in his life and within him, is an anchor. He doesnt respect words, words are wind but there is an emotional flex. He remained silent knowing it's worst he could do. Silence may not be right thing he was doing but it was honest and transparent. Lips were stitched and he was choking out of all the love he had for her that he could not speak off. She was eating ice cream. She was looking beautiful, as if Ice cream was invented years ago just for her to eat. If women had seen her eating ice cream the way she was eating they would have gone angry, furious. They would have want their money back but it's ok, she could have paid them with the way she look. her quiet, patient digging spoon in ice cream and then softly eating, like a clam, is something he found delight in. There was a certain pleasure in watching her artistically eating that ice cream. It was difficult to comprehen if he was dumb there or waiting for his beating heart to steady itself as he sees her smiling once a while. They came out of the cafe and strolled around for a while. A walk away from chaos, but there was no walking away from that fool inside him. He imagined laughing, conversing, conscious of minds caressing walk and there they were silently roaming around. He knew he have screwed things, stamerring, doing all the wrong things. He began talking, talking about Universe, God, identity, Soul, Peace, Desire and stuff. He spoke all the wrong things. She was confused still she listen him speak. "One day perhaps we will joke about this silence and this nonsense I spoke finally, if there will be another day". There was something magical about her that is not a trick, but simply because it is not a trick he was apprehensive because nobody, nobody has this kind of power. "What kind of eyes she has? Black? brown? No... both? I dont know,I mistake your kind of color for that composite of every color this universe has ever produced, Oh! I dont want this moment to end". He dissertation on what's wrong with the world but could not utter what's in his heart. He made himself believe in multiverse, believing in some universe on lonely planet there are two people like him and her, walking around and there he could speak to her what he feel.
There maybe a second part in continuation of this story I might write. I dont know, I am sleepy for now.
1 comments:
Overtly romantic man! discretion and leaving-something-to-the-imagination's where the fun's at!
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