Love is a lot like travelling. It suggest you enter someone's heart as you enter a country, through immigration and customs. Border crossed by simple conversations . Step by step. Gradually you start putting that person above yourself and you tend to feel you're doing it out of love. Heh! naivety. And when you do that, you give away a piece of yourself to that person. A part that completes you. If that person returns the feelings, the emotional equilibrium is balanced. If not, you feel exposed and disappointed. Because you dared to be naked. Your soul harden itself while your mind takes a flight. You get closer to yourself. You are sad and the deeper this sadness penetrates the greater you bond with your inner reservoir. Sorrow is an important ingredient, you see? That piece of yours that went missing when you're in love, poets say its heart. If it weren't for aesthetic reasons, it could have very well been liver or intestine too. But no, heart. Just below the sternum, left to third and fourth rib cage. Cage for a reason you begin to feel. After first romantic disaster you come out as a smarter person or so you think. And then it happens again. You never learn. You make new mistakes until you lose the innocence of naivety.
You don't always need support, sometimes it's ok to be sad and in a shell. Loneliness is a therapy in itself. Yea the insatiable need to be alone creates a disrupted balance with the insufferable need for connection but then idea is to feel so comfortable with yourself that you no longer fear what silence can do with your thoughts. It's always the moments spent alone that make you remember what you could have had but chose to let go of and it's always the moments spent with your own circumferences of existence when you taste freedom. Once you have mastered loneliness, you won't feel unfamiliarity you get when you are into some random party, awkwardness you feel among strangers like you are someone who just arrived but doesn't really know how they got here. The self that makes its appearance when we are not alone is a facade, we are incapable of being truly ourselves when in the presence of others. No one can understand the depths of your perceptions and that fact alone is as inspiring as it is isolating. We look for similarities in other people because the idea that we are alone as who and what we are is too terrifying to accept and we choose to believe we are all connected just for the sad pursuit of making sure we never feel as alone as we know we are. Every empty conversation is a testimony of why it's better to be alone. But someday you will find yourself alone but not lonely, you will know you can never feel lonely beneath the gaze of countless stars and everything will become beautiful and just fine till then never let your friends comfort you in pain because how else are you gonna preserve the narrative that you suffer alone.
