When I was child I had a dream. I had a dream to wear red-blue pants and dance with my crush on the tunes of "Kisi Disco mei jaye". Later I realised I am no Govinda. I can never be him. Nobody can be him (Fuck you Varun Dhawan, You Chinese Govinda). He is not just an actor but a cult, my idol, mere sapno ka raajkumar. Kasam Shilpa Shirodkar's cheeks the girl who enjoys Govinda's brand of senseless comedy is my kinda girl. If she has seen all Govinda movies then I'ill give her extra 10 points. Infact I already know what kind of conversation I want to have in 'Ladka Ladki ek dusre ko jaan lo' stage.
Me - Hey! Have you seen 'Aunty No. 1'?
She - I loved it. My fav.
Me - Cool. Gambler?
She - Ayie maa! Already 25 times.
Me - That's so touching. Hum tumpe marte hain.
She - Wow Govinda and Urmila were so beautiful.
Me - Arey nahi. I mean I already love you re.
She- Dulhan toh jayegi Dulhe raja ke sath *blush*.
She- Dulhan toh jayegi Dulhe raja ke sath *blush*.
I have plunged in to almost every genre, swam through it’s deepest realms, and then went on to another genera to explore it, throughout my life but never found anything like Govinda music. I loved my Beatles, Nirvana, Madonna but they lacked the melody I craved. They lacked quirky lines that I can use on girls. Govinda supplied it all. And why not? It was Govinda's movies that I fell in love for the first time, Rani *Sigh* Mukherjee. Govinda taught me that the most important thing in life isn’t gaadi, bangla, paisa, degree but it's love. Remember Raja babu? Karishma loved this illiterate Govinda and continued to love him even when he becomes verily gareeb. So I kept a mental note that in the canvas of life one must reserve the most expansive brushstrokes for love. My love for Rani Mukherjee grew deeper and my grades got weaker.
I used to imagine myself with Rani Mukherjee lying in some hotel in Shimla and proposing her while she look at me affectionately, laugh and kiss my forehead saying 'Buddhu' and me falling for her again. When in late 90's I heard rumours of Rani-Govinda affair it broke me. It was like your girlfriend cheating you with your bestfriend. I almost cried all night listening 'Oye Raju pyaar mat kariyo dil toot jata hai'. Later when things got clear I felt ashamed of myself. How could I even Imagine Govinda, my Govinda doing this with me? So cheap of me. I let my ideal down. I disappointed him but you know he always remained by my side like a watchful protector, silent guardian. His songs are filled with just right amount of wisdom.
Those people who stereotype him as comedian need to watch Gambler, Hatya, Swarg and many more movies in which Govinda proved mettle of his acting. Yes, he never got Oscar but neither did Brad Pitt for acting. Maybe some legends stay that way. In Swarg Govinda challenged bollywood's first super star with acting that left our eyes moist. In Chotey miya Bade Miya he convincingly left Amitabh Bacchan behind with his belly-aching comedy. He is indeed the NO. 1 we have in bollywood. Govinda at a point was working in 49 Films simultaneously and signed record 14 films within 36 Hours. Stardom, bitches.
From 'Kurta phad ke' to 'G phad ke' Chi Chi has traveled length and breadth of bollywood. I have spent almost my whole childhood watching Sachin and Govinda on TV. When kids were singing ring-a ring-a roses I was humming 'Prem jaal mei fas gayi mei toh'. I was so busy with Govinda that I had no idea what firang music is. When in class 8, a beautiful girl asked me do I listen to backstreet boys? I told her I listen to my mom only.
If you watch enough Govinda movies you become impressive flirt. 'lal duppate wali tera naam toh bata', a trend setting number of its times, this track was the first of its kind which made introvert guys courageous and approach girls and ask their names. Wanna take things a step ahead? We have a Govinda song for that also sir - 'What is your mobile number?'. There is always a Govinda song to describe your life's each and every moment.
Govinda is perhaps the best dancer Bollywood has, grace, fluidity, expression callisthenics. It's not easy to copy him, just try dancing like Hrithik Roshan and that's closest you can ever be to Govinda's dancing style. You've failed as a couple if you have never danced to Govinda's songs in the bedroom. IT IS MUST. I still cant resist few thumkas when I see Govinda's pelvic jerks in orange pants fastened just below his cute nipples. I can go on and on but as one Govinda song goes Bye Bye Miss Goodnight See You Again .
